Loneliness 

What is loneliness? Are we lonely simply by not being in a relationship, or is there something else at work. If we have unmet core emotional needs, does that contribute to loneliness?

This completely FREE 7 part video course will take you through:

  • the causes of why we feel lonely
  • our need for quality social connection
  • core beliefs that we hold about ourselves and others that can lead to loneliness
  • how to develop healthy mindsets and be aware of harmful thinking
  • health effects of loneliness
  • how to build strong social connections
  • practicals to overcome loneliness

How can the course be free? We are a charity, this is what we do. You can access the course by playing the videos below.

Part 1 : An Introduction

Loneliness isn’t being single or alone, but arises when one does not have sufficient quality social connections. Just like a plant needs water, sun and air, we need our core emotional needs to be met for us to grow.

Part 2 : What is loneliness?

Are you lonely? Are you content and satisfied with your friendships and relationships? Are you able ask for help?
Loneliness is caused through the lack of quality social connection. If this is continually not met, it can become chronic, disrupting both physical and mental health.

Links:

Part 3 : Where does loneliness come from?

What is the origin of loneliness? Loneliness often arises because we have not had our core emotional needs met as children. We then can develop core beliefs that are life traps (schemas) for us.

Part 4 : Overcoming loneliness?

Tips in overcoming loneliness. We need to develop health mindsets, relationships and being aware where we are drawn to the familiar rather than healthy relationships. We need to be aware of our life traps and how they can be triggered.

We need to identify and challenge our own harmful thinking. Instead, consider how we are valuable as people, how we do achieve some of our goals and all of us are deserving of being loved.

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Part 5 : Effects of loneliness

Is loneliness that bad for us? Yes, research shows it is connected with:

  • slower thinking
  • poor nutrition choices
  • weaker self control
  • reinforces lifetrap core beliefs (schemas) of Pessimism and Punitiveness along with the Disconnection/Rejection group of schemas
  • has physical health effects similar to having high blood pressure, obesity, lack of exercise
  • risk factors of early death

Part 6 : Building social connection

We can overcome loneliness through social connection.

Social connections, along with age and household income have all been linked to increased happiness.

We need real relationships to have connection.

We form stronger relationships when we care for people. A “helpers high” comes with taking caring of people.
If we are able to forgive people, rather than taking revenge, we will also build stronger relationships and social connection.

Part 7 : Practicals of overcoming loneliness

  1. We need to overcome our intuition where it leads us away from relationships, or doing things for other people
  2. Joining safe and supportive social groups
  3. Filling up lonely times in the evenings: Phone calls, sharing meals (remotely during COVID-19 times)
  4. Paring up – initiating with people you trust
  5. Casting the net wide: Build up friendships from both the past and present
  6. Giving to others: Being a friend to others, initiating conversations and volunteering

Dr Mark Timlin

General Practitioner

Mark has practiced medicine in the United Kingdom, Australia and Afghanistan. He has practiced in hospitals, refugee health, prisons and with refugee populations. He has a long association with John Louis delivering schema therapy based training.

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